Godintended

This is My View (written by my daughter)

2010-02-17T22:36:00.000-05:00

It was the 24th of July I was 15 years old and partying at a friends House. My life had already had many "ruff" ups and downs, situations i got myself into, and repressed feelings about God, Who was He? Why was he so AMAZING? How come there's SO much PAIN in the WORLD? I hated God, and publically expressed it. In all the problems a normal teenager can have I acted out in a loud manner and frequently. I loved grasping peoples attention it pleased my selfishness. As i was young and foolish at mind i carried on different plans and executed them into action. you may be asking yourself, wow, she must have been pretty bad...Yes, I was, I was rebellious and always had somthing up my sleeve. Proverbs 4:23 and says Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. - this gripps me now to the soul I want to be diligent. But the Story on, As it seemed only a second as i acted in my impjulse to get what it was i wanted i devised a trip to Flordia, It took only a second for me to decide this.. FOOLISH I KNOW. Flordia was where my BF was at the time, I had allready planned my life out with him and wanted to get married. I grabbed some of the loose cloths at my friends house, stole a cell phone, cigarettes , and made sure i had some alcohol. I put em' in my sisters car and took off... I didn't know how i was going to get there but i was determined to get there. with my hand on the wheel and my newly snatched [stolen]cell phone in my clutch I attempted to call to Flordia, the phone rang a couple times then I heard, "unable to direct your call, try again later" So I tried over and over again to reach my BF. It didn't work for some reason... to me at the time it was unknown , looking back it had no minutes... but I persisted and kept going. There was a battle going on in my thoughts, one side said, " When you get to that corner just go left" ok, i thought, but the other vioce said,"Go home and talk to your dad! tell him how you feel, He wants to see you! go home!! The warning was sooo loud but I was stubborn , You think mules r stubborn, I think humans r more stubborn. I kept going... my thoughts were," I'll be happier in Flordia with my BF." I kept calling and got the same message again.In my distress I sped up, taking on the same spirit my friends did, except wanting to go faster. I remembered a time inparticular when one of my past freinds maxed 100 m\hr.So I went past 90 and and then past my goal of 100 then reached 102. I wasn't satified yet. With all pomp I pictured Laura being the talk of the Town, " Laura dragged 120!" My imagination was running and I felt no reason to stop... I put the metal to the Floor and kept upping my speed, now I was at 105, I had to graduate to top speed! So I kept going mmmmmmmmmm (motor), "only 15 more miles and hour" I thought to myself... ok here goes nothing," 15 more 15 more" ... hold on i have to say something about this this girl"...WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, WHAT YOUR DOING IS SUICIDE! as I sped along the country block I kept redialing FL, still it was unable to transfer my call, As i took my eyes off the road to redial, instantley as i were a millionth of a second ... I saw I was on the other side of the raod ... and there a small set of headlights flickering my way... What was i going to do!? I WAS HEADED in the WRONG direction!? This kind of stuff never happened TO ME?!?!? I knew i was going to fast to be able to swerve back the other direction! Instantly I crancked my wheel! BAM! ... A blur of fast moving rows of corn and trees rushed past my eyes and I knew I was headed for the worst. There was no TURNING BACK!.. NO TURNING BACK>>>> There are tears in my eyes right now becasue I know this thought was a thought that was infinite. I was afraid to die, what was death? was I going to live? Will i be paralyzed? will life be the same? Will i go to heavan will i go to hell? Instantly I clasped each oppisite shoulder and cried out !......... GOD - PLEASE - DON'T- LET- ME- DIE ! That was it... He was My only HOPE! Nothing else mattered, those thoughts were garbage in a vast of black darkness. God was "IT"! As the nose of my sisters car dug deep in the dirt ready to take a turn and fip for the Worst.Sweet pictures of my family shot back to my mind , as if a slow pace movie was playing in my head ... MY FAMILY..."God ! , my family"... The people i care about there lives would be torn up if I died..... ).= They would miss me! Why did i do this ? ... I'm going to die and Kill my family at the same time... I hit my head and i was out .... as it was minutes later i heard two worried voices, theres something on fire... it was a man and his wife, get her out she replyed... my reply came, "uuuuuuuhhhhg...." i didn't feel good ... i felt like i needed to stay still and sleep far a long time ... the couple said ,"try to stay awake now, ok?" ... they kept rubbing my chest ... ,"NO," i said I didn't want to be bothered... that lady had such a sweet heart ... "keep your eyes open" she declared ... I couldn't; I fell back to sleep ( or unconciouness ) my heavy lids fell like iron and covered me with black silence once again... I STAYED UNCONCIOUS AND WAS AIR LIFTED TO THE HOSPITAL WHERE I WAS IN AND OUT OF CONCIOUSNESS TILL 11:00 THAT NIGHT... I am writting you this experiance not to gloat about my past , but to show you how GOD Saved! "When i called out to GOD HE heard me"... He knew one day I was going to give my life to him... But i hadn't yet. Even after this experiance. i pushed the Lord away and said it was a coincidence ... I was truely wrong... while i thought this was luck i hadn't noticed the convienence of my mothers visit that month, God sent her there for me. At my bedside when i came in and out of consiencness she was crying loudly in prayer to the Lord for my deliverance. the next morning when i came to, My mother was there to help me in any way i needed, it was like a sunshine beaming in my room that day with her help and support she lended.I felt so loved and cared for. She told me what happened because I had forgotten. FOLKS... My mother told me that i was speeding at 110 m/hr with my seatbelt "on." I was also in so much pain physically that i asked if i had broke anything. She said NO, Laura you didn't; I was shocked. All I had was a MILD CONCUSSION, A SWOLLEN BEAT UP ARM, WHIP LASH, and a very small scratch on my cheek... OOOh what a merciful God ... He was with me in the pain, and delivered me.As i slowly sat up for a bite to eat I became annoyed with the neck brace on me! I did not know it at the time, but God, from the day i was born, blessed me with the kind of personality no one else could have "except" Laura.

This REALLY Happened!

2010-01-05T22:42:00.000-05:00

If I have just one more day to live, and that was all, I would post this before my expiration. [I got this view of life at about age 49]...

I happen to have a daughter who of recent is 18. When she was 12, her father and I having been divorced, and she went to live with him voluntarily at the point I married a second time. I wish I had'nt made that move. Can't get into it now; but I tried so very hard to hold onto that little girl, but this little girl went to live with her daddy. There, she began to get in with a crazy crowd.

About 4 yr into this scene, she well got in with the gothics now, & been to town with about every drug, and did about everything a kid could try, but did it alot. [All the while, Mommy felt as if she could not live one more day. I felt as if I were dieing with my little girl & perhaps daddy did too ] Then one day, her little head got so messed up, as many, many children's heads get these days, & she took a car; it was her big sister's car. She got into the car [intoxicated] and drove off. She thought she was going to Florida [that's a long way from her house]. But she didn't know the way. She got as far as a few miles, when she saw ahead a farmer on his tractor, and she swerved to keep from hurting him; quickly heading off the road; speed 110; twisted, turned, and tumbled, thereby skimming the tops off of two young trees, forming the vehicle into a BALL.

Was this the day, she should face her destruction? How much can one do before life self-destructs?/As the "hurst" turned and tumbled, a cry came out;" Dear GOD, please, don't let me die"

By all logic, it should not have happened the way it did. Without death. Without serious injury.

At that time, I lived 2,500 miles away. But that day, I happened to be there. I believe in providence. .. how can one girl live thru so much?

NOW FOR THE GREATESST PART!!

That was July. In Dec. that little 16 yr old girl came to live with me ! It happened by a miracle. And that will be my next post.

2010-01-01T11:17:00.000-05:00

HOW WOULD I HAD EVER KNOWN my girl would be willing to move in with me, unless a friend had told me? I felt my kids were thru with me, after my second marriage began; and now it was ended too..

After the car accident, she was stuck at home a while. See, there was a computer on her dad's desk, and she happened to be on it just then. And my friend was on his. She did not know him, yet there he was a perfect stranger on messenger. (I had a strong impression to leave his ID on msgr after my visit) He began talking to her; introducing himself and striking up conversation. And she responded with her usual lingo... meaning she let him know he bothered her.

He endeavored to give her some council . She cussed him out a few times. He spent some time talking to her about the logistics of her moving out here. Dispite her response, he never gave up on her and they talked more than once. And he has been so glad for the results in her life . I think it was miraculous that this all came together as it did. She never would have been willing to listen to someone trying to tell her what she ought to be doing with her life. But somehow she did listen. Could it be, she really desired to do better? To own a better life?

After the move, there were a couple times we needed a little help. Guess I did'nt feel I knew how to do this on my own. I really needed the support my friend continued giving us.